[He'd had no idea when the cyclone sprung up around him that he'd be brought back, but despite the brief flash of fear, the regret that he was dying--being scattered to the literal wind--out there without being able to say anything to those he cared about...well, it hadn't hurt. It was for a reason, and a good one. A better death than he'd thought he'd ever get.
He lets out a little huff of breath. He'd spoken with Alberic, got his mind straight to do so regarding his relationship with his adopted father and mentor, but he hadn't with Aymeric. He'd wanted to, but the moment his boots touched the stones of the Steps of Faith he'd lost his nerve--not because he feared the idea of talking to Aymeric, but because he could still faintly smell acrid smoke on the air, see where his--where Nidhogg's claws had left furrows in the stone, and then someone working to clear the rubble away had turned to look at him and that had been that. There isn't that barrier now to get in the way, and he finds that once the words start slowly dragging from him, he can't stop them, and he can't look away.]
I returned and spoke with Alberic, after. I'd meant to come to you next, for the only regret I'd had was leaving things unsaid. I couldn't cross the Steps. All I could think of was the screams of dying knights, the smell of dragonfire, the feel of stone gouging under my claws, and how satisfied Nidhogg was, how determined that this time he would not stop until Foundation was seared to its bones and the Pillars toppled. He was searching for you on the field, for he knew if he killed you, what scraps of resolve, of self I had left would shatter.
I've spent years wondering why you were so determined to be my friend, for Fury knows I've not done much to repay your efforts. Despite that, my only regret was that I would not be able to tell you directly that you are the most important person in the world to me, and if it weren't for your steady presence, I'd have given up years ago.
no subject
[He'd had no idea when the cyclone sprung up around him that he'd be brought back, but despite the brief flash of fear, the regret that he was dying--being scattered to the literal wind--out there without being able to say anything to those he cared about...well, it hadn't hurt. It was for a reason, and a good one. A better death than he'd thought he'd ever get.
He lets out a little huff of breath. He'd spoken with Alberic, got his mind straight to do so regarding his relationship with his adopted father and mentor, but he hadn't with Aymeric. He'd wanted to, but the moment his boots touched the stones of the Steps of Faith he'd lost his nerve--not because he feared the idea of talking to Aymeric, but because he could still faintly smell acrid smoke on the air, see where his--where Nidhogg's claws had left furrows in the stone, and then someone working to clear the rubble away had turned to look at him and that had been that. There isn't that barrier now to get in the way, and he finds that once the words start slowly dragging from him, he can't stop them, and he can't look away.]
I returned and spoke with Alberic, after. I'd meant to come to you next, for the only regret I'd had was leaving things unsaid. I couldn't cross the Steps. All I could think of was the screams of dying knights, the smell of dragonfire, the feel of stone gouging under my claws, and how satisfied Nidhogg was, how determined that this time he would not stop until Foundation was seared to its bones and the Pillars toppled. He was searching for you on the field, for he knew if he killed you, what scraps of resolve, of self I had left would shatter.
I've spent years wondering why you were so determined to be my friend, for Fury knows I've not done much to repay your efforts. Despite that, my only regret was that I would not be able to tell you directly that you are the most important person in the world to me, and if it weren't for your steady presence, I'd have given up years ago.