stardiving | IC Inbox (Victory Road)

[Oh Jesus fucking Christ he's from Final Fantasy.

Not. A Final Fantasy that Steven's got any familiarity with. But so much bullshit finally makes sense.

Also Hades is so fucking an endboss, isn't he? Or possibly the Endboss' tool that's actually a lot more annoying to everyone over the course of the game, but technically isn't the real endboss. Like Kuja or Seymour.

Holy shit.]

I mean, I do understand he *thinks* he has good reasons for why he does things, which is *why* he's so quick to claim moral superiority. I just don't think that anyone who uses those means should be allowed to. He should just admit that he's as awful as any of us mortals he looks down upon, even if he's doing it for a good cause. Worse, maybe, since *we* don't steal bodies.

[Surprise!]

He is doing it to save his people. Tis a cause for which many men have done heinous things.

[Himself included. The little dots that go with typing take a long time to go away in this case, perhaps disproportionately so for how short the message is. He typed out a lot and deleted a lot before sending.]

Tis not that I mean that I forgive him that, amongst all his other crimes.

[He needs to tell Dirk who he's dating now. And also so they can basically put down 'some Final Fantasy or another' for all the people from Eorzea on their secret list.]

Yeah. No. I get that.

And I can get that he's even doing it for a good cause. I just... get mad when he's acting like he's my moral superior when he's done much worse things than I have, even if his reasons are good. Like I get that he's coming from the perspective that the ends justify the means and all—I just think there's stuff you just shouldn't *do*, no matter how good your cause. And stealing bodies is one of them.

[He doesn't suspect anything, but glad he could help you sort out that mystery.]

Is that something that happens commonly in your world?

[Because you are really adamant about this.]

I shall be in Goldenrod anon, I was just outside Azalea. If you care to come despite not needing to break in, tis fine.

... ah. Not *commonly*. But, well, when I was a lot younger, I read these books where the villain who was behind a *lot* of terrible things over the centuries had been doing that using his descendants for thousands of *years* in order to avoid death, and it really stuck with me? It probably didn't help that the book went into detail about what it was like for the last one to get his body hijacked and stolen like that.

And it's fine. I'm technically not in Goldenrod either--I dragged Jack to the Fuschia Surfing Party with me and we're coming back by Ubird now. *Hythlodaeus* is going to be here in another couple hours. He had to get back from Fuschia too.

Tis not an experience I care to repeat myself, but I know not if it is the same. I would rather not ask about it.

[He already doesn’t want to talk to Solus as much as he can about...all of that. He’s certainly not going to bring it up as a conversation topic.]

Very well then. He can simply stay on the other side--Ziva and Urianger have left Goldenrod, tis no matter.

[...even if he’d rather not bunk with Hythlodaeus either, but he’d rather not bunk with anyone, so.]

Oh *Jesus*. Are you okay, Estinien?

And that would actually be great if it's possible, since I can't put him up in a hotel forever. Hythlo thinks that 'Solus' will stop throwing his temper tantrum in about three days and honestly, that's how long *Jack* takes when he throws a tantrum too, but I don't want to chance it taking longer.

(Honestly, I never thought there'd be anyone here that would outclass Jack at being an absolute *toddler* when something offends him, but 'Solus' takes the damn cake. He literally left poor Hythlodaeus on the beach in nothing but his swimming costume--he even took Hythlo's *shoes* and *Pokeballs* with him when he ditched him. All he had left was his pokegear and barely enough money to take a Ubird, which the man threw in his face like he was a common *escort*. Tantrum is a good word for it.)

Oh, by the way, Hythlo says you were getting Gloom for him, for his chemical experiments. Did you find any?

Edited 2020-07-21 15:47 (UTC)

Yes.

[More or less. Just. Don't leave him alone in a room with a Yamask.]

...tis a strong reaction to be sure. What caused such?

Oddish, yes. And a Paras as well. I needs must retrieve them from the Pokemon Center, but there shall be time for that afore he arrives.

Hythlo accidentally used 'Solus'... you know what, screw it, he accidentally used *Hades'* True Name in front of me. I was keeping it secret to protect *Hythlodaeus*, but if Hades is going to be such an utter *ass* about things, he doesn't deserve having his name be private.

It was an accident too, which just makes this stupid tantrum worse. I'd startled it out of him when I'd mentioned Hades had been *flirting* with my baby sister when she was here over the weird weekend.

[He will file that information away and promptly keep calling the man Solus, this is far too many names for keeping straight otherwise, and he's from a society that has nobles with upwards of 4 given names, titles, and obsessive tracking of family trees.]

Even an accident or a misunderstanding can lead to disastrous consequences.

Think of it as such--for hundreds of thousands of years, like as not, he has kept that name secret. For someone so used to having such control, tis an egregious slight to have it so carelessly bantered about. Tis a reminder of a time and a life impossible to return to.

I mean, that point of view does make sense.

I just think he's an absolute shithead to punish his *best friend* so harshly for what was an honest mistake.

And yet he has changed far beyond what his friend reckons. It only stands to reason that his name might have as well. That he might not feel that he is that man any longer.

If you had gone through such a life-changing experience that it drove you to a new name, a new life, would it not be a gross violation of your wishes for someone to bandy about your old one, well-intentioned or no?

... no. I get it. Back home, my friend Abner was born Jessica. I'm basically deadnaming him now and so is Hythlodaeus. It's a huge dick move on our parts. And it's understandable he's pissed off.

I just think how he's acting on being pissed is way beyond the pale.

(And, admittedly, it sticks in my craw to call him by the name of the poor asshole whose life he stole.)

Tis not for us to decide how one responds to a wounding that we caused. Tis our place to refrain from twisting the knife, and to make amends should they be welcome.

[He thinks maybe Hythlodaeus needs the reality check if it's come this far.

Also if you had known Estinien less than a year ago, you might be surprised he could be so level-headed about this.]

Whatever man the original Solus might have been is dead and gone, certainly beyond caring.

[Harsh.]

Yeah, I *know*. It's just. I don't know. The principle of the thing.

(Admittedly, being still on unpaid leave at work after two and a half weeks because *someone* has sent a Rotom to sabotage all the office equipment I dare try to use is. Well. Destroying a lot of what charity I *had* for 'Solus' right now. I mean, I know I earned it, but at the same time, I *really miss my job*.)

If you know, you ought practice it. Tis not that you needs must get along with him, Fury knows he is a right pain in the arse to deal with.

[Avoid him if you can't deal with him, would be Estinien's opinion, it's done him fairly well so far. Not with Solus because the man insists on being a bloody pest, but.]

What would have made you earn it?

I sent him a nightmare during the weird weekend. In return for all the times he terrified me and for bothering Tyler after I told him to stay away from him. And... god, I don't remember half the details anymore but I know it was absolutely horrific and got completely away from me. I think his mind must have filled things in on its own after I started it... my God, the shit that was in his head.

Anyway. I was ready to apologize and talk things out with him... and then he started sabotaging my ability to do my *job*.

Tyler is capable of defending himself, I should think.

[He distinctly remembers telling you that poking Solus was a bad idea. And so that's why Solus was so unbalanced after--not that Estinien had drug it out of him, he hadn't cared to pry what with his own shit that happened that weekend.]

I know full well that I warned you of the consequences of a similar action weeks ago. Especially to provoke his ire when he is in possession of all of his power...you ought count yourself lucky that it was not worse.

[Especially since he has a decent, if vague, idea of exactly how terrifyingly powerful the Ascian can be from his own encounter with the man over said weekend.]

Edited 2020-07-23 05:46 (UTC)

I know, I know. I've been a complete and utter dumbass with him. I get it.

He's still an unbearable ass, though.

He certainly is an ass, though if you think him completely unbearable you ought be glad you didn't meet me at my worst.

[He knows he can still be an absolute shitshow of a man but he's careful to try to notice it. Sometimes.]

You might try extending the olive branch, but be warned that he might not accept--though the offer may be enough to have him cease his campaign, if earnestly meant. Some hurts run deep, and men such as he are both proud and supremely unwilling to trust that we mortals are capable of change. I mean this not to reflect on his arrogance, necessarily, merely that he has seen time and again how petty and short-sighted we can be.

Perhaps I should be.

That said, I *did* apologize to him in the middle of my intoxicated fit of melancholy on my dead sister's birthday, *meant* it, and he didn't call off his damn rotom. Even though if he had then I'd have no idea that my computer troubles were him. So no. He won't accept it. I'm completely screwed when it comes to him.

... also, even at your worse, did you ever think that mortals were less than people? Because that's the thing I hate most about him. that he doesn't even think I'm a *person*. He's never actually said it *outright* but you can tell when a guy doesn't think you're people if it's happened to you enough and it's *definitely* happened to me enough. I'm not his goddamn gardener!

Edited 2020-07-23 16:17 (UTC)

[It’s some time before a response comes, because…there’s a lot to think about before he responds.]

You might consider reoffering it while sober. Mayhap with a third party as mediator. A thought. Tis bad form to come to negotiations without a clear mind.

[Please do not ask him, please do not ask him, please do not ask him. He is not supposed to be the diplomatic one, that’s Aymeric’s wheelhouse. He did not absorb enough of that to be a mediator, he does not have the patience.]

No, rather the opposite--that it twas the immortal ones, the dragons, that were mere beasts to be cut down. I was a hateful and bitter man pursuing vengeance in exclusion to all else, with my only saving grace being that I cared more for my people than myself and had friends that were much better people than I ever could be. Even then, I was careless and like as not, that recklessness led men and women under my command to their deaths, justified to myself in that they knew what they had signed up for and were just as single-minded as I.

[It’s something else to pile onto that guilt and grief. He can’t be sure, of course, but…well he’s gone so deep into self-reflection that it’s come out as kind of a self-flagellation, so even if that had never been the case, he’s going to think it was.]

Tis a problem of scale, and ephemerality. An immortal being cannot fathom loss as we do, as they are not built to experience it. That grief is ever-lasting and ever-fresh, whereas we are able to come to terms with it. Some better than others.

I speak not for him, understand. My perspective was…rather uniquely gained. And is not that of an Ascian beside.

Edited 2020-07-23 20:15 (UTC)

I'd ask Hythlodaeus to play referee, except, well, *they're* not talking either. Maybe Tyler, though. Or hell, even Dirk. Even if the two of them are fucking. Tyler and Dirk together, maybe. Dirk would be slightly biased towards 'Solus' and Tyler towards me, so it would even out.

The thing is, though, that no matter how immortal he was before, 'Solus' is just as mortal now as any of us and I don't think he *gets* that. And even if he wasn't... look. The one thing my parents made absolute sure to impress upon me as a kid is that everyone is a person, even if I don't care about them. Even if I hate them. I don't *have* to care about anyone, even if they'd prefer I would, but I do have to accept they're all people.

And I'm not a good person! At all! I don't know if I'm better or worse than you used to be, but deep down I'm an asshole too! But with 'Solus' it's like only the people he cares about are people! And I get the temptation to go with that logic! I do! But if even I'm capable of understand other people are people too, then why isn't *he*?

Edited 2020-07-23 22:09 (UTC)

Hythlodaeus is not impartial enough. Neither is Tyler.

[Wait. Wait up. Back up a second.]

And that tis more than I cared to know.

[And also, not Hythlodaeus? He's very surprised.]

We are not. To his reckoning, we are a little more than half at best. Or should I say, *I* and those of us poor mortals of our world are a little more than half, and you are getting painted by the same brush.

[Sigh. He does not want speak of this, it isn't his place, he doesn't know the details, only what Solus told him, and while he trusts that the man was truthful about it, it's still not his place to drag this into the light of day.

Though maybe Steven already knows. Whatever horrific thing he saw in Solus' nightmares--he's willing to bet it's not all the mortal deaths he's seen over the millenia that causes Solus to lose sleep at night.]

To hear him tell it, the souls of the mortal races are the souls of his people, splintered and fractured and faded, spread between the fourteen shards of our once-whole world.

Jesus Christ.

[He guesses that explains Hades and Dirk, though.]

Okay. I get how he thinks that doesn't mean we--you--are people.

But he's still goddamn *wrong*.

Also I have no clue who else to act as referee for us, except maybe you. I trust you to be impartial.

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I'm executively deciding this thread takes place before the one with Lydia

Always good to have a solid timeline

Re: Always good to have a solid timeline

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